"I wanna hang a map of the world at my house. Then I wanna stick pins in the locations that I`ve traveled to.
...But first I have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won`t fall down."
-Mitch Hedberg

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Fool Me Once, Shame on Shawn

When I woke up today, I thought "Hooray! A brand new day!"

I did not think "Today is the first day of April," nor did I think "Happy April Fools Day!" My lack of date and time awareness was unfortunate.

When I mentioned that I was hungry, Shawn jumped out of the van and said, "I'll get it for you." I thought it was uncharacteristic of him to voluntarily arise before 9 am, and to step out into the chilly morning air just to pour me a bowl of cereal.

But it was such a sweet gesture, so I brushed my doubts aside. When he passed a bowl of delicious cocoa puffs my way, I could hardly contain my excitement. Breakfast is my absolute favorite part of the day - I love it so much I actually look forward to it when I'm falling asleep the night before. So I started to salivate as I sliced a fresh banana into my bowl.

We started an episode of "How I Met Your Mother" on my ipod to enjoy while we ate breakfast, and I brought a heaping spoonful of cereal towards my mouth. Turns out the moment I'd been waiting for since my tummy first grumbled this morning was a moment Shawn had been anxiously looking forward to as well. That first gulp of what should have been pure chocolately goodness hit my tongue and was immediately purged back into the bowl.

"MUSTARD?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! BLEHHHHGHGHHHHGH!!!!!!!!"

Horrified, I looked up to Shawn for reassurance that he had accidentally poured my breakfast into his dinner bowl from the previous night. BUT HE WAS LAUGHING! And not just, 'Wow she's making a funny face' laughing. It was cold-blooded, 'I just ruined your entire day on purpose' laughing.

"APRIL FOOLS!" he exclaimed proudly.

Let's just say in the seconds that followed, things got a little messy. Shawn was soaked from the shoulders up with the mustard-rinse water I spit in his face. The ground just outside the window was splattered with mouthwash, milk, cocoa puffs, banana slices, and the bane of my existence, mustard. Shawn continued to laugh way too hard and pat himself on the back for remembering what day it was. I juggled between rage and betrayal and sincere confusion on why someone would ruin something so holy as my bowl of chocolate cereal.

Sadly, I've been unable to come up with a revenge-prank that wouldn't also affect me (it's close quarters in the van, you know). And that's why I need you, America! (and NZ and Australia and Canada and Italy and France and wherever else people are reading this) All suggestions welcome! Please, help this day end in justice!


  1. What treachery! I wish I could help but the only tricky i know is putting a rubberband around the spray gun of the sink (someone taught me that once!). I guess you don't have one in the van? Unless your plumbing skills surpass my imagination...

  2. hahahahhahah you two are wild.


  3. Uncool! I'd make him sleep on the mustard splattered ground outside!

  4. Mustard can kill people, like Maggie for example! Shaun, you might consider pranking someone else other than the woman who has to put up with you everyday! Carolyn, just remember, revenge is best served on a cold plate.

  5. When did everyone I know become such a baby? And yeah, I know mustard can kill some people, but not Carolyn. "Mustard cereal" was the best prank ever.

    Shawn 1
    Carolyn 0

  6. Care, dig down into what we used to do at home and on mission trips. We had a lot of good ones. Remember the koolaid. . .