What Not to Pack

We scoured the internet for tips. We read every travel blog. We grilled other backpackers for info. We even asked a magic 8 ball. But after all of that, Carolyn and I created a simple two step system of packing for a one-year trip to New Zealand: 1) Wait until the night before the flight to pack. 2) Bring tons of useless stuff. It’s working so far.
In addition to the pounds of clothes, jackets, computers, guide books, boots, sleeping bags, and stuff we actually need, here are a few items we just couldn’t leave behind:
Shawn: 1 black wool peacoat 4 pairs of jeans 2 huge metal belt buckles 1 white button down shirt 1 dental retainer 1 plastic brontosaurus named “Brendan.”	Carolyn: 1 Russian style winter hat 1 Italian leather jacket 72 Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups 1 4’x6’ American flag 17 pairs of underwear & 10 pairs of socks 1 pair of knee high suede boots

	Quick Travel Tip: If your bag gets tagged as “HEAVY - BEND YOUR KNEES” by support belt wearing behemoths whose job is to fling around super heavy bags all day – you messed up.
Travel experts may say don’t pack jeans, bulky jackets, mounds of chocolate, plastic dinosaurs, and more underwear than you can wear in a year – we’re not listening. In all my travels I’ve found that no one cares how good at packing you are. I don’t need tips on how to shrink wrap my t-shirts. We’re not impressed by your stupid “fknoon” (a fork, knife, and spoon fused together). Actually, a fknoon would be pretty sweet…
The old saying, “Take half the clothes and double the money,” is for crybabies. We say, “Take twice the clothes, almost no money, and a plastic dinosaur.” Do not forget the dinosaur. Like I said before, it’s working so far.